We've Decided to Adopt an Orphan From Russia!

WE HAVE DECIDED TO ADOPT AN ORPHAN FROM RUSSIA!

Anyone who knows us is probably thinking two things right now.  First, "WHAT?  That is so crazy!  That is so cool!".  Second, "Those Marinos.  They always have something shocking going on!".  Well, we don't exactly plan our lives around the levels of shock we can bring about, but I do have to admit, our lives and the path we have been on has been anything but boring.

I know this seems like it is coming completely out of left field, but in all actuality, Keiffer and I have been talking about adoption since our very first date.  The conversations about adopting began with both of us being certain that we eventually wanted to adopt.  Keiffer had always dreamed of adopting a little girl from China, as I always dreamed of adopting a blonde haired blue eyed newborn from a Eastern European country.  Although we couldn't decide when or where we would adopt, it was nice that we both shared this common desire.  Another reason why we are a match made in heaven.

We decided to have our first two children, and then see if we wanted to adopt our third.  After having Calista and Bridget I felt a strong desire to continue having another biological child.  We gave adoption some thought, but it just didn't seem like the right time.  Keiffer and I are serious planners, so nearly everything in our foreseable future is planned out.  As soon as I had Tennyson, I was already thinking about my plans to have a fourth and when.  Keiffer deployed while I was pregnant with Tennyson and during that deployment I revisited my desire to adopt after watching the National Geographic documentary China's Lost Girls.  I was distinctly disturbed by the reality of some countries social, economic and political issues, and the causes of massive amounts of children being orphaned.  The impression I kept receiving was that I just have to save at least one of these orphans. I didn't feel the desire to adopt a newborn from America, because I know that they go like hot cakes, and the life they would live if not adopted would far outweigh that of a child in a developing country in an orphanage who was not adopted. Once Tennyson was born, Keiffer and I talked about adoption a lot.  We hashed it out from so many different angles, and after much consideration and speaking to different families, we just decided to stick with making our own babies since we are healthy and it is so easy for me to get pregnant.  The most important reason we came to this agreement was because of many people telling us to think about the wellfare of our biological children first before thinking about the welfare of a child we would adopt.  This led us to think about the traumatizing effects that bringing in an orphan could have on our three biological children, and it scared us.  It just didn't seem worth all the risk.  We pushed aside the strong promptins given to us, and let our fears of the unknown diswade up from adopting.

Keiffer has been deployed now for 7.5 months and won't be home for another two.  We have been actively conjuring up a plan to get pregnant again as soon as Keiffer gets back.  We had it perfectly arranged where I would get pregnant in September or October, so I could have my first trimester here, and won't be so uncomfortable driving across country to Maryland. Well all of that was fine and dandy until my friend posted this blog on Facebook at www.tinygreenelephants.com.  It is a blog about a family in the process of adopting two children from Russia.  I read the most recent blog posts and the strangest thing happened.  I started balling my eyes out uncontrollably.  My heart swelled with pain but also love and I just knew that this was the Holy Ghost telling me that my plan for adoption needed to be revisited.  Instantly I decided that I want to adopt our next baby.  That I don't want to get pregnant just yet and that I need to rescue an orphan from another country who is living in an institution. 

I emailed Keiffer and told him what I had just experienced and what I thought we should do.  He is so amazing and replied with a "Let's do it.  Call up an agency and lets get the paperwork going".  The last few days have had my mind going crazy!  I have a million questions blazing through my head about how we are going to pull this off.  I have been reading as much as I can about how the process works, about all the different countries we could adopt from and their policies, and reading a whole bunch of adoption blogs.  I looked into our family history and found out that my grandparents on my dad's side come from the Ukraine and Prussia.  On my mom's side they come from Norway.  While scanning for a country, Russia seems the most fitting, and if we adopt from there, we will have part of the same background.  Plus, we could get a child with blonde hair and blue eyes. 

There are many reasons why we would like to get a child that looks like us, but the main reason is so that child will feel more included and a part of our family.  This is strictly our opinion and what we feel is right for our family. We just want to lesson the chances of adoption always being the first people see in our child and when looking at our family.  Considering all 5 of us have blonde hair and blue eyes, it would seem fitting to get a blonde haired blue eyed orphan.

So now that we have made the official decision, here comes the hard part.  Finding an agency, researching the adoption process more, talking to families who have adopted from Russia, fundraising...  The list goes on!  We are embarking on a huge adventure which we have no clue as to where it will take us or to whom.  There are so many questions.  So many fears.  So much excitement.  The one thing though that I know for certain is that I cannot deny this prompting any longer!  Heavenly Father knows  that adoption is right for our family.  He has been telling us this from day 1 and has set our lives up prefectly and blessed us so richly to make this a reality in our lives.  I trust in Him and in the witness of the Holy Ghost.  I have learned in my life that when I receive a prompting that not only do I need to listen to it, but you I to act on it, and this is what we are doing.

Today I am calling adoption agencies and requesting information packages.  I will be contacting couples who have adopted from Russia and will be asking a ton of questions as well.  My main conscern is how we will be able to get settled in with an agency that is in Maryland while living here in San Diego for another 7 months.  7 Months is a long time to wait to start the process, but we don't know if once the process is started if we need to remain in the same area and same home.  I guess all of this I will find out through calling around.

We are so thrilled in our decision, and excited to share this journey with all of you!  We know that God has big plans for some little orphan out there.  We just can't wait for him/her to learn of this!

My Drug Free Labor and Delivery

I have to start off with a disclaimer. I know that if I would have written this the day of Tennyson's birth, or the day after, I would have been singing a different tune, as would I if I waited another month or so and written my account of the goings on of my labor and birth. They say that the reason you forget about all of the pain and the trouble of labor and delivery is so that the human race will continue and women wouldn't be so freaked out by their previous birth experiences to prevent them from wanting to have any more children. As I was in transition in my labor, I swore I would NEVER ever go through what I was going through again. I repeated to myself "This is the stupidest decision I have ever made!", and you will understand why by the end of reading my account.

Due to past experiences with epidurals, drugs and constant monitoring, I made up my mind that I was going to labor and deliver my third baby naturally without drugs. This was a feat that I knew was going to be challenging, and I had to prepare myself mentally for a good three weeks prior to get my mind fully convinced that I could do it. Every night I listened to soothing meditation music and hypnobirthing practices and affirmations to train myself to relax and breathe. This is something that I didn’t really know how to do before since I am usually on the go, and rarely stop to put my feet up and just enjoy doing nothing. I realized that I couldn't slow my breathing and that it really took effort to inhale to the count of 8 and exhale to the count of 20. It takes a lot of control and concentration. I also researched positions for laboring and birthing naturally and ways to find comfort when it gets tough. I have been using essential oils for about 5 months, so I had a whole bunch of vials of different oils that would help me with relaxing, speeding up contractions, and helping with anxiety. I watched numerous You Tube videos and documentaries on women giving natural birth and also sought the stories and encouragement from friends and family who have gone through it themselves. All geared up, I truly felt empowered and prepared to embark on my journey and enter into the elite group of women who can brag about how they had a drug free labor and delivery. Keiffer was very encouraging and kept pumping me up telling me that "You're going to experience what God created you body to do!" and, "You will be like a pioneer woman and know what they all went through". I was pumped, but still apprehensive.


The evening of May 24th, I started having very regular contractions, but I knew from previous pregnancies that they were just Braxton Hicks. The 25th was my due date and that morning I had an appointment with my midwife at noon where she checked me and I was 3cm dilated but she could stretch me to a 4 and about 80% effaced. She asked if I wanted her to strip my membranes but I refused any sort of intervention. Tennyson would come when he was ready. After we left I started getting pretty crampy and my contractions started coming regularly about every 10 minutes. I lay down and took a nap and noticed that they didn't stop. When I woke up at 3:00pm, I officially declared myself in labor since my contractions were feeling stronger and were very regular. We called our good friend Darlene to stand by to come over for when it was time to head to the hospital. By 10:30pm my contractions were every 5 minutes and pretty strong, but I could still talk through them. We called Darlene to came over and we headed to Naval Medical Center in Balboa. We got to triage by 11:30pm and I was checked by one of the midwives who said I was 3.5cm dilated and 30%effaced. This was disappointing since earlier that day I was considered further along. It's all subjective though. After a few hours of being monitored in triage my midwife suggested I go walk around for 2 hours and then come back to be checked again for any changes. She said if after 2 hours I was a solid 4, she would admit me. Based off of my last labor with Bridget where things moved very rapidly, Keiffer and I decided to stick around and see if the walking sped things up.

It was 1:00am when we left triage and we headed straight down to Subway to have some much needed food before walking. We were both overly tired since Keiffer had been up since 5:30am the morning before and I since 6:30am. Our bedtime was usually 10:30pm, so we were feeling the sleepiness taking over. We walked up and down the halls of the hospital for a full hour before heading back to the car to take a little siesta before going back to triage. We got back at 3:15am and I was a solid 4cm dilated and a tad bit more effaced. I was admitted and moved into a labor room that was very spacious. I thought, "This is it, here we go". Immediately they insisted that it was hospital policy that I be administered an IV just in case they need to give me fluids or drugs. This was not in my plan and I freaked out because I hate IV's. I am a big baby when it comes to needles other than those that draw my blood, so I was completely terrified. An intern tried getting an IV in one of my hands and failed twice! It was excruciating and I lost it. I started crying and shaking and the other nurse decided to try in my other hand. Keiffer asked if they could give me some Lidocaine to numb it a little first, and she complied. I felt lots of pressure with the IV going in, but it wasn't nearly as bad as the other two failed attempts. The procedure for women delivering naturally is to monitor the baby 20 minutes out of every hour and the other 40 minutes I could walk around or do whatever. Keiffer and I made rounds on the labor deck both completely sleep deprived and exhausted. Every time I went back into my room someone was in there asking me questions, hooking me up to the monitor, telling me to move in a certain position, and asking me about whether or not I was having a contraction. I was even visited by the anesthesiologist even thought they knew my plan was to go all natural. I started getting pretty upset because I felt like I should just be left alone to labor and to practice my relaxing. I just wanted to rest but felt like no one was letting me. It was "hospital policy". I reached a point where I just couldn't stop crying because I felt like everyone was pressuring me to have a speedy labor. I got the sense that people were watching the clock and that there was a certain time limit allotted for how long my labor would be able to go on before they insisted on artificially speeding it up. I'm sure a lot of this was in my head because of all of the stories I heard about the way hospitals work. My midwife, the nurses and Keiffer all told me that I needed to relax and that no one was trying to make things happen faster. This was my labor and it would play out as long as it needed to. I just couldn't relax though, and couldn't calm myself down. With all of the stress and emotions I was experience, my labor stalled and my contractions spread out to between 10 and 18 minutes apart and were not very strong. As I lay there twiddling my thumbs, completely frustrated, stressed out and sleep deprived, I didn't know what to do. Shift change happened at 7am and the new midwife who came on encouraged me to check out of the hospital and go regroup to speed my labor back up. She knew, as did both Keiffer and I, that the medical environment that I was in and my current mental state was contributing to the slow down. I needed to get back into my comfort zone and get some sleep which would help my body feel like it was okay to labor. I was discharged from the hospital around 8am and we decided to go to IHOP to have some breakfast. As soon as we got out of the hospital my contractions picked up again and were getting stronger. Enough so that I couldn't talk through them and had to focus on my breathing. It was funny being in a restaurant telling our server I was in labor and calling my sister to tell her I checked out of the hospital and was laboring in IHOP while eating breakfast!

We headed home and Keiffer and I both laid down for a nap. When we woke up around 4:30pm I took a little walk around the neighborhood in hopes of progressing my labor. By 7:00pm I was feeling pretty wiped out and decided to go to bed for a little bit but knew it would be a short while before we would need to head back to the hospital. I turned on my iPod to help me relax and listened to some soft meditation music. My contractions were getting pretty uncomfortable and I needed to really focus on my breathing to get through them. I got up at 9:00pm and told Keiffer he needed to come to bed to get some sleep because I knew that the baby was going to be coming soon. He came into bed for only two of my contractions which were now about 3 minutes apart and I couldn't lay there anymore. When I stood up they were getting so bad I had to lay over the bed and sway my hips back and forth to relieve some pain. Keiffer frantically repacked the car and called Darlene back over. We left at about 10:00pm and made the 25 minute drive to the hospital. I was doing really well with my breathing and pain management in the car because I had my IPod in and was in a meditative state. I noticed Keiffer pressing on the gas more and more with every contraction.

We arrived at the hospital's triage around 10:30pm. They could tell immediately that this was no joke, and checked my cervix to find I was 5cm and 80% effaced and was in active labor. My contractions were every 2.5-3 minutes apart and were extremely strong. The best method for me to cope with the pain at this point was to lay over the bed and sway my hips as I had at home. I was no longer interested in my iPod or trying any hypnobirthing techniques. The pain began to take over and the only thing getting me through each contraction was exaggerated deep breathing.

I was transferred into a labor room that was much smaller than the first one I was in. Immediately I went from being able to cope, to completely not being able to cope. I suddenly could not manage the pain, and I was desperately trying to find some position that would make the pain remotely tolerable. The bed was too low for me to lean over and sway my hips, and the rails on the side of the bed were very flimsy and loose so they were terrible for gripping. I moved to the bathroom where I gripped ever so tightly to the metal handicap bar on the wall. My legs started getting super fatigued from standing and squatting at this bar, so I moved back out into the room. There I went from leaning on the wall, to laying in the bed, to kneeling on the floor and laying over the birthing ball. Nothing seemed to diminish the pain I was experiencing but I was getting through it with each contraction. The breathing eventually turned into all out screaming at the top of my lungs and then into chanting and making all sorts of ridiculous sounds and moans that only a woman in natural labor would make. To give you a really good visual, just imagine anything you have ever seen on television or in the movies of a woman in labor yelling at her husband "I hate you" and "You did this to me", and triple it! That was me. Keiffer says it was like I was possessed and in need of an exercism! I feel badly because Keiffer was trying to put essential oils on me, but I kept telling him to leave me alone and “Get away from me!”. I didn’t want anyone touching me and nearly knocked out the nurse every time she pressed the fetal monitor up to my belly while I was having a contraction!

By 7cm dilated I had reached what I thought was my threshold. I was done with the whole thing and was beginning to panic a little. I kept thinking about all of the strong women I know who have experienced natural labor and it helped me get through it mentally. I tried moving around the room but every motion brought on a stronger and longer contraction. I tried standing up and holding onto Keiffer, but I realized quickly that he was going to fall victim to a biten off nipple or at least some serious battle wounds on his back. I figured this not the best scenario so I reverted to scratching, biting and tearing at every possible inanimate object I put my hands on! The nurse attached a squatting bar to the bed and as I held onto it I nearly ripped the foam off with my teeth. I switched to laying over the birthing ball atop the bed and was digging my fingers into it so hard I thought I may pop it! There was no escaping the pain. I kept repeating, “You are so stupid. This is the stupidest decision you have ever made… never again!”

By 9cm dilated I reached the fight or flight mode. The time when I felt like everyone needed to know just how much pain I was in, in case they didn’t already know. I grabbed Keiffer close to me, looking him square in the face and said, “Keiffer, I am going to die”. It’s not like I thought or really felt like I was really going to die. I just needed him to know the severity of what I was experiencing. I looked at the nurse and my midwife and said very matter of fact, “I’m done. No seriously, I’m done. This needs to be over right now”. That turned into an all out cry for help and pleadings to my midwife to get this over with. I did have a few times when I said, “I need drugs”, but I just got a blank stare from everyone in the room. This was good because no one let me believe for a second that drugs were even an option. They seemed to let my pleadings go in one ear and out the other which is exactly what I told Keiffer I wanted to happen. I had a feeling that if I pleaded enough someone would hook me up and start giving me some drugs. I realized later that I didn’t even sign the consent form from the anesthesiologist to have drugs, so I couldn’t have gotten them if I wanted! Good call on my part. I all of a sudden got really hot and bothered by the hospital gown I was wearing, so I ripped it off. They set up a fan for me which was a relief from the massive heat my body started generating. They started putting cold rags on my head and giving me them to put in my mouth to bite on. I was to the point where I was chewing on my fingers and arms really hard that they were insistent that I stick a rag in my mouth so I wouldn’t hurt myself! Are you getting a good visual of how this was worse than what you see in the movies?

At 9.5cm I felt the overwhelming need to push. My midwife told me that I couldn’t push until the last part of my cervix was out of the way, but I couldn’t help it. She wanted me to flip over and get on my hands and knees but I adimately refused to move at all. Everyone in the room forced me to and I rapidly flipped over in excruciating pain. I hung over the back of the bed biting the sheet and tried desperately to fight the pushing urge while my midwife tried to see if she could move my cervix. She thought she may be able to so I flipped on my back , they broke the bed down, and I was finally able to push. It was such a relief to be able to fight against the pain!

As I pushed I started getting really mad. I repeated out loud, “I’m mad, I’m mad. I’m gonna push this baby out!” The nurse and midwife repeated back to me, “Yes, get mad. Get this baby out!” It really helped me to put the force behind each push. It was the strangest thing feeling my baby move further down my birth canal! My midwife was able to get the baby’s head past my cervix and as he began to crown I felt this overwhelming sense of burning like an Indian rug burn only all around the area he was stretching through. I knew what this meant and was encouraged to push through the pain to get my baby’s head through. Once his head was through, the rest of the body came easily. It was such a sense of relief when he came out, and as he lay on my chest for the first time screaming, I was in a complete state of shock. He was born on May 27th at 2:38am.


I did it! Me. Laura Marino. The girl who can barely stand a minor period cramp just went through a 36 hour long labor and delivery and pushed out a baby with no drugs! I was feeling complete exhaustion. Tennyson latched on immediately which was so nice. Most of my attention was focused on what my midwife was still working on which was pulling on the umbilical cord and massaging my uterus waiting for the placenta to detach. That’s the thing about natural birth is I was aware of every sensation that during my other labors I was oblivious of. Once my placenta was delivered I got that sense of relief that everyone told me about. Ah, it was all over! My midwife declared everything was intact, and I had no tearing.

For the next 2 hours we stayed in the delivery room laughing and reminiscing of all of the crazy things I did and said. It is amazing that prior to delivery I was in the most excruciating pain I could have ever imagined and as soon as the baby was out all the pain disappeared! During this time Tennyson was weighed, measured and given a bath. He was 8 pounds 15.4 ounces and 22 inches! A big baby! He was over 2 pounds heavier than Calista was. I apologized to Keiffer and the nurse for anything I said to offend them or any pain I may have inflicted on them while in labor. Everyone pretty much laughed it all off and was very proud of me.

We were transferred to a postpartum recovery room which was really nice and large and had a separate bed for Keiffer to sleep on. On the wheelchair ride over to the room I was met by many people congratulating me on my accomplishing a natural birth and was labeled a hero amongst the staff. I know I put on a good show for the whole floor for about 4.5 hours! Once the people got to see the woman behind the screams, they must have felt the need to recognize my accomplishment. It was nice and felt very empowering.

Since it was my third baby most of the nurses left us alone unless they needed to check my vitals or check Tennyson. Keiffer broke out the essential oils I was so adimat about using during my labor and postpartum and we diffused some On Guard into the room to kill the germs and then enjoyed diffusing lavender to make the room really relaxing. Everyone who came in the room noticed how good it smelled. Keiffer made me what our last hospital called “Postpartum punch” which is a mixture of orange juice, cranberry juice and 7up in a 32 ounce water bottle with crushed ice. This hospital didn’t offer it so we came prepared with all the ingredients. I drank like 7 of these in my hospital stay! I also devoured all the food they would bring me. It wasn’t too fabulous, but boy I was hungry!

Some people think that women who refuse drugs in labor and delivery are crazy. I was one of those up until my third trimester. I didn’t understand why women would put themselves through unnecessary pain. The only reason I even entertained the idea was to avoid the year long spine pain I developed after my past two epidurals. As I researched natural childbirth, my opinion of birthing in America changed drastically. I realized how medical society has made what is the most natural thing our bodies are meant to do. A woman in labor is seen as a woman who is ill and needs to be placed in a bed and doped up to get through the pain. The rate of unnecessary cesarean sections has skyrocketed and America leads all developing nations in not only unnecessary medical intervention but in infant death.

When I had reached what I thought was my pain threshold during my first two labors around 4cm I was administered an epidural. Prior to that I was given IV narcotics to take the edge off. I was given Pitocin to speed up my contractions and make them stronger. As I lay in bed blissfully unaware of any pain my body was experiencing, I watched the monitor as my contractions doubled in size and strength. I thought, “There is no way I would have been able to cope with the pain from those contractions!” The sad thing is that my babies still could and were being crushed by the relentless super charged contractions the Pitocin was encouraging. As I came to this realization and understanding of the whole hospital birthing experience, I was convinced that a drug-free childbirth was what I wanted not only for myself but for my new baby. It took a lot of research, soul searching and practice to get my mind convinced that I could in fact accomplish this goal. If I had gone into labor even two weeks earlier, I would not have been prepared enough to go through with natural childbirth. The last few weeks I was in a meditative state every night listening to birthing stories, relaxing meditation music and hypnobirthing cd’s. I called my friends who had experienced it for themselves and took to heart their words of encouragement. By my due date I really felt empowered and confident that I too could accomplish this feat.

Would I recommend childbirth? Yes. If you would have asked me to write this account the day after my labor, I would have said emphatically, “No way!” Like I said at the onset of writing this, I think that we are designed to forget about the pain of childbirth so that the human race will continue. Keiffer says that husbands forget as well. They have to forget what they witnessed. Otherwise there would be very little postpartum love making and thus the impossibility of future pregnancies. I can tell you this much about how I feel now that it has been 1 week since I delivered Tennyson. I feel empowered. I realized something about myself that I never knew before and that is the level that I am capable of taking myself to if I merely put my mind to it. The degree of pain I experienced was something I never thought I could endure. My whole life I never thought I would consider natural childbirth, especially after feeling what I thought were the worst contractions ever in my first two labors. I don’t want to offend anyone who has not experienced a drug-free childbirth, but after going through both kinds of labor, I feel like women who have not experienced it do not really know what it means to birth a baby. This experience was way more than I could have imagined it to be. It challenged me physically, emotionally and most of all mentally. I did it. I overcame what always seemed like the impossible. I am now part of an elite group of women. I now know that if I was a pioneer trekking the plains that I could have survived natural childbirth. I am really proud of the woman that I have become through this experience and the many rewards I received including and most importantly the grand prize in the end, my beautiful baby boy Tennyson.

Labor Stories

I am now 39 weeks pregnant and am waiting not so patiently for my baby boy to make his arrival. This pregnancy has been much different from my other two pregnancies in the fact that I was sick almost the entire time. The first three months I had terrible morning sickness, and since Keiffer was deployed, it was very challenging for me to cope. I rarely got out of the house and turned to the dreaded television as a babysitter while I lay in misery. Fortunately I had many friends help me by bringing me food and babysitting the girls.

My second trimester was plagued with winter illnesses like the flu, ear infections and a never ending cough. All three of us girls were sick for three months straight. I thought it would never end, and it didn't help that my belly was expanding and it was getting more and more difficult to do simple parenting tasks like give my girls baths.

Fortunately for my third trimester there was light at the end of the tunnel. My friend introduced me to the wonderful world of essential oils to improve my health and that of my entire family, and they started working immediately. I never realized that essential oils were healers and that they could be used as a replacement to traditional medicine and drugs. I went into it full steam ahead, and it paid off. All three of us girls recovered from our streak of illness, and started feeling much better. Keiffer came home from deployment which was the greatest relief ever for me. He immediately dove in helping me out and taking care of the things that were really challenging for me to do on my own. My load was lifted, but his increased. I guess that's what happens to husbands when their wives are pregnant, and not to mention have been running the household and parenting on their own for 6 months!

My third trimester was far better than my first two, as I could relax more, and I was no longer stricken with illness. Strangely the chronic tailbone pain that I experienced in my last pregnancies that caused me to go to the chiropractor every week in excruciating pain did not reveal itself to me this go around. What an amazing blessing! The chronic heartburn however reared it's ugly head and Tums became my savior every day. I am expecting Tennyson to come out with a full head of hair just like my other kids :)

In the past few months I have been reexamining my plan for the birth of my child, and revisiting the memories of my last two births. My first labor with Calista was induced 9 days early due to my showing signs of early preeclamsia. One morning I woke up with a major headache, high blood pressure, blurry vision, and I was swollen like Fred Flinstone! When we went into the hospital they decided it would be safer to induce me than to send me home and risk preeclamsia. I don't want to go into the details much, but they kept me over night "prepping" me with hormones for my induction the next morning. That next day I was hooked up to everything you could iomagine and was started on Pitocin. By just 3cm dilated, I was in such excruciating pain that I had to get an epidural. The aftermath of my labor was rough on me. The anesthesia lasted 2 hours after I gave birth and I couldn't get out of bed. I have extremely sensitive skin so after the tape was removed from my back I had an itchy rash and bright red skin for 2 full weeks postpartum! I developed excruciating spine pain that lasted an entire year, through my next pregnancy and beyond.

Early laboring














In a lot of pain and being fed the IV narcotic Fentinol















We wanted our children close together so we planned my second pregancy when Calista was just 5.5 months old. My back pain continued and made my pregnancy rough. I went to physical therapy most of the time and then the last 3 months to a chiropractor every week, sometimes twice a week. I went into natural labor with Bridget just one day before her due date. This time was more barable because my contractions were able to slowly increase instead of being put on Pitocin and immediately have major ones. I was able to labor for a good amount of time until my contractions jumped from 10 minutes to 3 minutes in one contraction. Immediately panic set in and I felt like I wasn't going to get to the hospital in time to get my drugs that I felt like I so desperately needed. There was no way in my mind that I could attempt delivery without an epidural! When we got to the hospital I was 4cm dilated and screaming at the top of my lungs. I had no coping mechanism in place and the whole rush of things was really effecting my ability to focus on relaxing and letting my body do what it needed to do. I was immediately administered an epidural and so began the cycle I hated so much before. This time my epidural was really scary because I had a shooting pain go down my leg and then back up which caused me to scream and everyone in the room to jump back! My back pain in the next year was so bad that I started going to spinal specialists to try to figure exactly what was going on with my spine. I just got the run around from all of them saying that they could not really pin point a specific problem and that I should just wait it out.

Very happy once the epidural kicked in!














This third pregnancy was planned just as our firt two and I got pregnant right before Keiffer deployed to make sure he would be back for the last weeks of my pregnancy and for the birth. I spent a great deal of time thinking about how I want this labor and delivery to play out. I watched the documentary, "The Business of Being Born" and it really changed my perspective on childbirth. My birthing experiences were in many ways treated as medical problems that needed to be fixed, and the fear that was instilled in me disabled my ability to cope with the pain and to fear the whole birthing process.

I have decided to attempt a naural drug and monitor-free labor and delivery. I feel like I trust my body to know what to do and to be able to labor and birth this baby into this world gently and in minimal discomfort. I have armed myself with knowledge, affirmations, essential oils, and most recently some hypnobirthing techniques. I know that I can prepare as much as possible and plan for things to happen a certain way, but usually things always change at the last second. I swore I wouldn't do a "birth plan" this go around because my last two labors went nothing according to my plan, but I did end up making one up. This one saying, "I do not want drugs". Hopefully this will help me by taking away the constant recommendations and kind offers from the nurses to drug me to take the pain away. Things may change and I may not be able to cope like I imagine I will be able to. The point is that I have every intention to make this experience more pleasurable for me and my baby and to not repeat my past experiences. I am praying diligently that the Lord will assist me in my attempt and help my body to do what it was made to do. I hear that women who delivery naturally have far quicker labors and easier recoveries. My labors with Calista and Bridget were both around 14 hours. Hopefully this one will be around 6. Wishful thinking right? We shall see :)

"Please Bless Us Lord With Another Child".

From the day that Keiffer and I met we have agreed on more things than can be counted, but one of the most important issues was that of how many children we want to have. It started off with both of us being certain that we want three children, but that number somehow turned into a definite 4. I grew up in a large family of 5 and Keiffer in a small one of just his sister and him. My desire to have a large family stems from coming from one, and knowing the joys of having big Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year and Fourth of July celebrations! Although having a lot of siblings brings with it rivalries and feuds, now that I am grown I realize that if all of my friends were to abandon me, or I moved across the world where no one knows me, I will always have my parents and siblings who know and love me to be there for me.
Keiffer grew up having one sister and somewhat of a dysfunctional childhood. Don’t we all have some sort of dysfunction when you think about it? He tells me that he wants to be the kind of father his never was, and thinks that children need siblings to teach them many life lessons that are advantageous to their successful development and socialism. A child growing up as an only child obviously gets their parent’s undivided attention. Play dates can help that child to learn how to share, how to be social, and how to take turns, but by no means in the way having a sibling can.
As both of us have had the desire to have a large family of our own, never so has the desire been stronger than after building our faith in what we believe is the true reason why we are on this earth experiencing life. Knowing that we knew God before we came to earth, and there are spirits waiting to receive bodies of flesh to experience life here with us, we can’t help but want to share that blessing with as many children as we are capable of supporting. We have been blessed beyond description with our two daughters Calista and Bridget, and are desirous to give them another sibling as soon as the Lord will grant us.
Keiffer and I are very analytical, type A personalities. We see a task, and we get to work on it. No messing around or beating around the bush! When we first decided to try to get pregnant with Calista I first went off the pill and started taking ovulation predictor tests. I realized a few things in doing this. First, I have a very regular cycle of 30 days and second, I can feel when I am ovulating around day 14 of my cycle. The following month we gave it a go but failed to get pregnant. I really wasn’t expecting to get pregnant since everything I read said it usually takes your body two months after stopping taking the pill that you will start ovulating again. The next month was the third month of “trying”, but our first real month of feeling like we had a good shot of it working since I was out of the two month post-birth control window. To our surprise I was pregnant!
The day that Calista was born I said what most women who have been pregnant will think I’m crazy for saying. I said, “I miss being pregnant”. Mind you, this was within hours of giving birth to Calista! There is just something so comforting about having your baby safe and sound inside of you. Providing nourishment and the perfect environment for your new baby to come into this world is one of the best feelings anyone could have. Right away Keiffer and I started planning getting pregnant again. We agreed that we would wait until Calista was 6 months, and then we would try. As Calista reached 5 months, I was getting anxious to get pregnant again. I know it seems so crazy, but I just had it set in my mind that I wanted to have four kids and I wanted them all close in age. I started weaning Calista off of breast milk in hopes that it would help me to ovulate since breast feeding 100% usually has a better rate of preventing pregnancy than birth control. We were visiting Keiffer’s family in Florida when Calista turned 6 months, and to our surprise, it turns out that I was already pregnant! I conceived just a few weeks prior, so we were astounded that everything worked out in such a timely way!
After giving birth to Bridget, I developed some severe spinal pain in my mid back. I struggled with it going to chiropractors, massage therapists, physical therapists, general practitioners and 3 orthopedic surgeons! All in hopes that someone could help me and tell me what specifically was wrong with me. The result? Nothing! Well, I shouldn’t say nothing. They told me that I have a slight bulging disk, but it isn’t even in the spot that hurts, and the spot where it does hurt is acute pain! The reason I say all of this is that my idea was to wait a little longer to get pregnant to see if my back could start feeling better. Either that or I would get a diagnosis that would tell me I needed surgery or something that I could get and recover from before trying to carry around another huge belly! What was my conclusion after a year of back pain, and little relief? The pain is always going to be there and I am not going to put off my family planning because if it. Yes, any future pregnancy I am sure to have horrific back pain, multiple visits to the chiropractor and massage therapist, and annoying daily complaining. At least it will all be worth it in the end.
Keiffer was scheduled to deploy for 8 months beginning July 23rd, and we did much going back and forth about whether we should try to get pregnant before he left or whether we should wait until he got back in March of 2011. If I got pregnant before he left, he would be gone most of my pregnancy, which would be fine, except that as I got bigger, it may be tough to juggle getting around with Calista and Bridget and doing everyday tasks like giving them baths. He was deployed during my pregnancy with Calista, and I actually preferred it. It was just a little weird having our reunion after not having seen each other in 6 months, and him coming off the airplane to see me 45 pounds heavier! If we waited until he came back from deployment then we would be more financially ready, and he would be around my entire pregnancy to help with the girls. I took everything into consideration, and decided that I wanted to try to get pregnant before he left.
At the end of June, Keiffer had to go to Fallon Nevada for 4 weeks. At this point I hadn’t gotten my first period , but I decided to see if I was ovulating by taking ovulation predictor tests. The very firsts test I took said I was ovulating, so I called up Keiffer and we discussed that this may be our only shot of getting pregnant prior to his deploying the next month, so we should probably meet up somewhere to do the deed! I got a babysitter and drove 4 hours to meet up with Keiffer somewhere in the desert. He had to drive 5 hours to meet up with me, and we stayed at a Best Western for one night. It was pretty exciting and felt like we were having a secret love affair. What is really funny is I forgot my wallet at home, and when I went to check in, Keiffer hadn’t arrived yet, and I told them that he was my husband and they needed to give me a key to the room. I also was not wearing my wedding ring because of a rash I developed under the band that worsened every time I put it on! The women at the desk were very skeptical and it totally appeared that we were secret lovers meeting up for a forbidden romp! After calling Keiffer and verifying that I was in fact his wife, they gave me the key to go to the room before he arrived with his credit card.
Every day the next week my ovulation tests said I was ovulating. I called the consumer help line and they said that I am not supposed to take the tests if I have not yet had a period, and the results will be inaccurate! Next thing you know, Mid July I get my period. It was a bummer, but at least we have our rendezvous to always remember!
Unfortunately, by my getting my period mid July and Keiffer leaving for deployment at the end of the month, there was going to be a very minute chance of my getting pregnant. We tried anyways, but with very little faith that it would happen. It was a good thing we didn’t get our hopes up because I didn’t get pregnant. I got my period the next month. The good news was that Keiffer and I were both surprised when a change of plans for the USS Lincoln arose and they decided to come back home for four weeks before heading over to the Middle East. The timing was going to be perfect for trying to get pregnant. The only hiccup in our plan was that my mom was in town visiting for three weeks of the 4 he would be home, so we were going to have to keep our actions on the down low! Hey, like I said before, we are Type A people who when we get our minds set on something, we make it happen. We didn’t mess around and can honestly say that we gave it more than a good shot!
Keiffer is deployed now and it has been a few weeks since I ovulated. I took a pregnancy test the day before Keiffer left just to see, and it was negative. I knew it would be because it was too early, but thought I’d do it just for the heck of it. I started feeling really queezy everyday after, and hoped that the feelings I was experiencing were those of early pregnancy. Being the ever-so-anxious woman that I am, I decided to take another test on August 15th and it again was negative. I was pretty disappointed because I was expecting my period to come on the 18th, and if what the pregnancy tests say are true, it should be able to detect pregnancy 4 days before my missed period. Yes, it says that only about 54% of pregnant women will see a positive result, but I was hopeful since I wasn’t feeling well. Keiffer and I get to email everyday, so I let him know and he was pretty bummed out. He was really excited about adding to our family, and said that he wasn’t going to rule out my being pregnant until I actually got my period.
I have to digress for a moment and note that while we were trying to get pregnant prior to his deploying, we both were faithfully praying that the Lord would bless us with another child. We prayed together and told the Lord that we are ready to receive another child if it be His will. That we will be amazing and loving parents and that if there is a spirit waiting up there, that we want it. I prayed night and day that this would happen for us, and so did Keiffer. We knew that whatever happened it is His will and He knows if we are ready or not.
The 16th came, then the 17th and no period! I didn’t get too excited because it still wasn’t the 18th, and that was when I was expecting my period. I emailed Keiffer on the evening of the 18th and told him that I still hadn’t gotten my period, but that I didn’t want him to get excited because I really didn’t think I was pregnant. I had been feeling nauseous sure, but for the past two days I was developing pms symptoms including being short, moody and I just had that feeling like at any moment I would start my period.
That evening I went to bed, and the strangest thing happened. I was in a state of being between sleep and awake and my mind kept telling me that I was pregnant. I started thanking God for blessing me, and started imagining my new baby. Is she a girl, or a boy? What will we name her? Where will we put the crib? Should I make the guest room into a baby room, or should we convert part of our bedroom to a nursery and still keep the spare room for guests? I got an overwhelming feeling that the Lord was telling me, “Laura you are ready and you ARE pregnant”. When I woke up I hopped on the computer and quickly emailed Keiffer telling him about my dreams and how I think I’m pregnant! I went to church and the entire three hours felt the Spirit surrounding me. It was so bizarre! I felt this overwhelming feeling of love and protection. When I got home from church I checked my email and there was one from Keiffer. He told me that last night at about 1am he said a prayer asking for me to be pregnant. He said, ““If it be thy will, Laura and I are ready to have another baby.” This was strange because this was around the time that I was having all of these dreams. Perhaps it was God telling me that He has granted our wish, and wanted to let me know!
That evening I really wanted to go buy a pregnancy test, but I didn’t want to break the Sabbath. I tried to justify it in my mind, but thought that if I do go buy a test and it turns out being negative, I would blame it on breaking the Sabbath  Anyhow, I decided to wait and I emailed Keiffer that I would probably wake up and go straight to the drug store to pick up a test and take it. The next morning, which is today September 20th, 2010, I took two pregnancy tests and they were both instantly positive! I was so excited, but really was just going through the motions without it really sinking in. I emailed Keiffer first thing but didn’t hear back from him until later in the afternoon. Ironically, I had a gynecologist appointment that I had scheduled two months ago today at 1:45pm! How strange is it that the one day that I find out I’m pregnant I already have a gynecologist visit set up?! We scheduled my first obstetrics visit for when I am eight weeks along, but until then, I just hang out, eat good, exercise and take it easy.
I got an email from Keiffer at around 4:00pm saying that he is so excited and we have a LOT of planning to do! He is going to call me later so we can talk about it over the phone, but we both are beyond elated and thank the lord for answering our prayers. Our new prayer is that I will have a healthy and happy pregnancy.

Today I turn 30!

Today I turn 30. A day that as a teenager I couldn’t imagine ever reaching because it was so far away! Now here I sit pondering the past 10 years of my life and excited about the life ahead of me. I must say that if I was 20 again and interviewing myself at 30, I would be impressed at the life and adventures that I experienced in 10 years. It is unimaginable to some the transformations that have taken place in me, but one thing has remained constant throughout the years, and that has been my desire to understand the world around me, live life to the fullest, and not waste time on things that are of no benefit to me.
After High School it was my intention to become an OBGYN, and so I enrolled at Western Washington University. After only 1.5 years, and much soul searching, I decided that becoming a doctor was not the right career path for me. I just couldn’t see myself sitting in school for upwards of 11 years and eventually having a career that would disable me from spending the amount of time I would like with my future children. I dropped out of college, moved back home, and began going to Beauty School. Ever since I was little I had a natural talent and interest in cosmetology, and thought it a good idea to officially learn the trade as I tried to figure out what I really wanted to do with my life. I attended beauty school for 2 years and got my diploma.
After completing Beauty School, I still had no clue as to what I wanted to be. Strangely, after going through the 1800 hours of school I decided not to utilize my skills as a cosmetologist, and decided to start going to real estate school. I attended the Rockwell Institute and graduated, then got hired on as a realtor with Windermere Real Estate as their youngest real estate agent at the Redmond office. At that time I think I was 24. After working for Windermere for only 3 months I knew that real estate was not the industry for me, and I quit.
I know what you’re thinking… but wait it gets better! Amidst all of this school I was an exotic dancer, aka. stripper, adult entertainer, it had many names. My stage name was Angel, and I took that name because no one including myself would have ever guessed that this is a career that I would have partaken of. I was the good girl growing up. The straight A student. The brainiac who was going to be a doctor! What was I doing taking my clothes off in front of thousands of strange men? Well, I saw it as the perfect opportunity to use my assets to fund my lifestyle and to save up for my future. I was not shy about being nude, and I took my career very seriously. In my first year dancing at age 20, I competed in my local club for the title of Showgirl of the Year and won! I then went to regionals which included girls from Washington State, California, Oregon, Idaho and Montana and won that as well. My official title was “2000 West Coast Show Girl of the Year”. I then went to Nationals where I placed 6th. As a newbee to the industry, this title helped boost my confidence as well as my interest in the industry, and I worked extremely hard to be the best entertainer I could be and make as much money as possible. I must say, it was a lot of money!
I moved to Las Vegas Nevada at age 24 after quitting Windermere to do my last stint as an entertainer. By this time I had been dancing since I was 18 and was getting pretty irritated with the industry. I had a certain financial goal set and a timeline of finishing up this chapter in my life by age 25. I achieved this goal and at age 25 moved back to Washington and quit dancing. Taking the step to end my career was far more difficult than I could have ever imagined, but one morning after work I had received revelation while watching a sermon about pornography on the Christian channel and it gave me the will to go in to work the next night and quit.
I got a job working for Macy’s as a Bridal Registry consultant because I had always been interested in special events, particularly weddings. I also enrolled in George Washington University online to get my Event Management certificate. While studying this program, I realized two things. One, I could have written the course myself since everything seemed so common sense to me and two, this is the industry that I was truly made to be in. Little did I know that this dream would be placed on the back burner when a rare opportunity or twist of fate if you will presented itself to me.
Working at Macy’s was fun, but it was only a temporary gig while I figured out what my next move would be. My mom called me one day while I was at work telling me that she saw a sign in downtown Monroe advertising for a manager for a new salon opening up called Sports Cuts. Although I never worked in a salon, I knew that I could easily manage one, and also thought it a great opportunity to finally utilize my Cosmetology license by also doing hair. I called the owners up and scheduled an interview. The salon wasn’t set up yet, and the owners were just investors with no knowledge of the industry. They hired me on the spot and I started telling them what the salon needed to run. Long story short, 3 weeks later the owners literally skipped town, and the building owner who had a vested interest in the salon sold it to me. It all happened rather quickly, and before I knew it I was a salon owner working diligently to make my business a success. I kept the name Sports Cuts and I also kept it a salon for only men and boys since I really didn’t like doing women’s hair, and it was a great niche.
I started out as the only stylist in my salon only cutting between 1 and 3 haircuts a day as I built my clientele. To keep my overhead low, I built my salon up as the months passed and I could afford to add more and more. It wasn’t rare to find me up on a ladder painting the walls, or directing contractors during remodels in between haircuts. The clients didn’t seem to mind, and in fact thought I was a very smart business owner by doing most of the labor myself and keeping my overhead low in the beginning.
While starting up the salon, I attended a financial seminar by a stock and options trading company called Investools, and decided to enroll in their school. My dad and I decided to go in on it together, and I was really excited about becoming a day-trader!
As the salon’s reputation expanded, I began hiring on girls to lease space in the salon. I was meeting a lot of men, but none that were the type I was looking for in a husband. I formed a list of about 100 qualities my future husband must have and I decided to be proactive about finding this unlikely dream man. I started online dating through Match.com and found that most of the guys were just looking for a good time, and nothing serious. I decided to invest in my future by hiring a professional match-maker through a company called, “It’s Just Lunch: Dating for Business professionals”. After meeting with my matchmaker and giving her my list of 100 criteria, she began sending me on dates with all types of men. She was spot on with the matchmaking, but it was the chemistry that was the key. For my 7th date, I was set up with a man named Keith Marino, and when we met it was love at first sight. A day later he said “I love you”, a month later we were engaged, and 4 months later, on 07-07-07, we were married!
I always dreamed of having a grandiose wedding, but as it turned out for financial reasons, we decided to just get married “city hall” style, only in my dad’s backyard with no one but our photographers who also doubled as our witnesses. The whole idea was to make our marriage official and then later when we could afford it have a large wedding that all of our family and friends could attend. For this reason as well, I opted out of getting a wedding dress, and we decided to wear golf attire for our wedding and go to the driving range after our nuptials! Crazy I know, but wonderful!
During our short engagement Keith, who likes to be called Keiffer, and I bought a townhome in Sedro Woolley Washington. It was a neutral location allowing both of us an equal commute of about an hour but travelling in opposite directions. I was not in the least bit excited to live in this small town, since I considered myself a city girl, and it was a far cry from downtown Seattle and Las Vegas! It was cozy though and both of our first home. I brought along my boxer Aneylah age 6 and my cat Mocha age 11. Shortly after we moved in, my dog developed cancer in her spinal cord and I had to put her to sleep. It was the hardest decision that I have ever had to make. We immediately purchased two more dogs named Trump and Tully, a Hungarian Vizsla and a Weimaraner. We didn’t waste any time getting pregnant and shortly after we found out, Keiffer deployed to Japan for 6 months. There I was stuck in the boonies with two puppies chewing up our house, a big pregnant belly, and no husband! He was home for the last 8 weeks of my pregnancy and on 07-17-08, our daughter Calista was born. I had just turned 28.
On the first day we met, Keiffer and I discussed raising children, and agreed that we would raise our children in a faith-based home, but we disagreed on the type of church we would attend. Since I was a little girl, I always had a faith in Jesus Christ and after quitting dancing I began going to a non-denominational church. Keiffer was an inactive member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and tried to convince me to check it out. The first Sunday after Calista was born, Keiffer was back in church and ready to get his life back on track spiritually. I watched him go by himself for about 3 weeks and on the 4th Sunday I went with him to check it out and to get our daughter a blessing. I wasn’t too impressed by the look of the building since it was old and quiet. The church I was used to going to was loud, energetic and brand new. I was intrigued though with notion of the restoration of the true church of Jesus Christ and decided it would be the right thing to at least learn what the church believed and see if it made sense to me. I had the missionaries over and studied the church doctrine daily. After 3 months of investigating the church I knew that it was the true church of Christ and I decided to get baptized in October of 2008.
Keiffer and I both agreed that we wanted to have our children close together and have either 3 or 4, so we planned my second pregnancy when Calista was 5.5 months old and on 09-14-09 our second daughter Bridget was born.
During the two years of being pregnant and having my two daughters, I quit working in the salon, and just managed it. I built the salon up to having 4 stylists and a massage therapist. Our client base went from zero to over a couple thousand in less than 4 years! Although the economy took a big hit, my salon was able to stay afloat and business remained decent. Amidst all of the business of running the salon and having two babies, Investools got placed on the back-burner, and I vowed to one day pick it back up.
Keiffer was stationed in Washington for 3 years, so we were due to transfer to another state in February of 2010. Keiffer was selected to be commissioned, which offered a huge raise and a change of rank in the military making him an officer! We decided to celebrate his commissioning as well as our wedding before leaving Washington. The week prior to our commissioning ceremony/wedding reception, Keiffer and I along with our two daughters, went to the Mormon temple in Seattle and were sealed as a family.
San Diego California is where we were being transferred for 3 years and the time came in November to pack up our home in Sedro Woolley and rent it out. Keiffer had to attend officer training school on the east coast for 3 months, so the girls and I moved in with my sister and her two kids in Marysville Washington. I turned the salon over to my mom to manage and in February 2010, at age 29, I moved with my husband and two daughters to sunny San Diego California!
We were on cloud 9 when we got to San Diego! The city is so beautiful and our house is in a gated master-planned community surrounded by a private golf course. Everything is within 25 minutes from our home and we have spent more time together out doing fun things in 4 months than we have done in 3 years of being together! Keiffer joined a squadron scheduled to deploy for 7-8 months in July and since we moved has already left for a total of 5 weeks to do some pre-deployment exercises.
My 30th year is going to be a tough one since Keiffer will be deployed on the USS Lincoln for a greater part of the year. Calista is turning two in a month and Bridget will be turning one in September. I think that we will be alright though since we have made many new friends in our church’s ward, and we have all of the amazing attractions to go to here in sunny San Diego! I can’t think of a better place to be raising two kids alone while my husband is deployed!
My plans for my 30’s are to have two more kids, keep building my salon up, and start up my own event planning business which will specialize in picnics. I would like to finish my Investools training and have some investments in the stock market. I am going to work to expand my knowledge and faith in the gospel, and I want to take up some hobbies like sailing, surfing and crafting. I wasn’t to spend more time on the golf course too! I am going to make sure that I stay active and strengthen my body to be the most fit it has ever been. I am going to be an amazing, supportive and appreciative wife to my husband Keiffer and I am going to be the best mother that a child could ask for! My 20’s were all about discovery and experimentation. I am excited for the joys and blessings that will come from my 30’s as a wife, mother and woman. Life is good!